I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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