we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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