I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
