How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
