Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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