If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
