Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he shaved USA in his pubs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
