So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
