Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
