well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
