No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
COCAINE IS GR8
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
