:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
