Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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