im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
