I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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