covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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