i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
