5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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