You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
