The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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