And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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