You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
