so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
