I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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