I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
