Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
