I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
