Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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