At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
