erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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