yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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