New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think your dad took our porno
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize