She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
