the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
