a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
