I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am available for nakedness
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize