White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
