yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
