Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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