Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
