i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize