Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
