Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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