if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
