Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
