Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
