The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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