I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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