not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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