wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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