...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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