Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
