Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
