It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
being pregnant is like rehab
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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