"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
