Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
