No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize