I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize