I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she told me i tasted like america
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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