Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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