So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
