I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
