She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
