that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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