He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
