he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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