Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
